today I finally reach the age of 30. ten years ago, my naive and underdeveloped brain thought that I am gonna achieve greatness, that I am the main character, the chosen one. what a memory that is.
I know that me. right now is just an NPC or extras or whatever somebody with no insignificance is called. I live a mediocre life and now I am not even sure if I still have ambition anymore.
I wake up every day knowing that my day is gonna be mundane. and I didn't know when was the last time I felt excited. TLDR. Me and my life are boring.
I am just a programmer with the bare minimum skill. I am gloomy and cowardly, hate working hard, and even though I know I should fight. in the end, I am just running away. and the sad part, I am okay with that.
sigh. even I understand that my life is not *that* miserable. but my head keeps telling me that I am not worth it. I keep kicking grass in frustration. why am I like this.
I wish I can accept this, I wish I have acceptance in my life. but my head hurts, I can't breath, and I feel like I am just a zombie walking around with no purpose. that I have no other purpose besides my function.
just halfway there...
"Programmer" is a good start, in the future everything is digital, digital is not only in our laptops or gadgets but will be around our lives. Your job will become a favorite.
BalasHapushappy belated birthday & may Allah alway bless you
BalasHapusBelum terlambat kayaknya buat ngucapin MET ultahnya ya mas馃槉
BalasHapusSemangat, Mas. Dunia belum kiamat. He he .... 馃挭馃挭
BalasHapusSelamat ultah mas (^^)
BalasHapusTapi ingat baru setengah jalan, mungkin diujung jalan ada yang mas temukan 馃挭馃憤
Everyone's life is mediocre. It's the same everywhere and you are not the only one. So I think that is what makes our species thrive: mediocrity, not too big and not too small, not too harmful yet not so harmless. Just remember that the higher you climb, the harder you fall. That's why boring life tends to be less stressful than stardom. And it's actually enjoyable. We can dream high and we can still feel lucky when reading news of any atrocities out there. We still have enough time to do small things that we like, such as walking in a park or reading a book or writing a blog.
BalasHapusMungkin beranikan diri utk kluar dari zona itu? Kalo semisal selalu aja mengerjakan hal2 yg sama, ga ada salahnya utk sesekali kluar, traveling. Ambil cuti, Ga ush jauh2, yg Deket aja. Semisal sukanya gunung, cari area gunung. Atau pantai kalo sukanya pantai. Aku sendiri tiap merasa jenuh dengan hidup, larinya pasti traveling. Setelah itu, pikiran selalu balik fresh lagi.
BalasHapusKalo traveling ga sesuai, ya cari kegiatan yg kita suka. Yg bisa bikin pikiran lebih seger pas balik kerja.
menurutku jadi programmer itu keputusan yang tepat, makin lama makin banyak orang butuh programmer. Kalau Arif merasa bosan dan ingin upgrade skill bisa sekolah ambil kelas karyawan/short course kan... bisa juga bikin channel tutorial di youtube.
BalasHapuskadang interaksi dgn orang di dunia maya bikin dunia kita jadi kerasa rame meskipun kenyataannya begini-begini aja
met ultah ya,semoga makin sukses kedepannya.tetap semangat dengan karir skrg ..inshaAllah kedepan lebih baik lagii
BalasHapusselamat ulang tahun mudah mudahan segala keinginan dan doa doa arif terkabul, bahagia selalu ya. Semangat ^^
BalasHapus